We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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