There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
either way he was missing a nipple.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
