Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
