No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
