Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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