Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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