I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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