haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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