In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
