Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I didn't shave. On purpose
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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