I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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