I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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