I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
God I need to hump something, right now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
