im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
