I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
