Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
