Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
