omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
