it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
