idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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