i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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