Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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