All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
