Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
