I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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