This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
false alarm. still invincible.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
