I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
