so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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