You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
