I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
