Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We are all done wearing pants today
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
