Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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