It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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