M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
