bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
