can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
