After last night, I could never be a politician.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
