She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
