So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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