saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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