Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
