Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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