she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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