Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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