If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I understand Curling. That high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
