It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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