You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he wants to bone in the snuggie
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
