yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
