guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
