he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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