i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
